A Weiner by Any Other Name
6.9.11 | Anthony Weiner. 'Nuff said.
52
6.3.11 | On turning 52
Looks Like We Made It
5.22.11 | The world survives another day
To Run, or Not to Run
5.17.11 | The ABM mulls another presidential bid
More Surprises from Osama bin Laden's Compound
5.15.11 | Porn, pot and Martha Stewart
When Right is Wrong
5.1.11 | Are we still in America?
A Lesson in Patience
4.17.18 | The ABM impatiently tries to be patient
Sheen and Gaddafi to Trade Places
3.11.11 | Two and Half Nut Jobs
The Terror of Tiny Tots
11.20.10 | The TSA keeps the sky safe from terrorist tots.
The Tea Patriot
11.1.10 | Cousin Joe wants to run for somethin'.
A Taste of Kundalini
5.18.10 | I try Kundalini yoga... sort of.
Hear, Hear!
5.8.10 | The consequences of hearing loss.
Missing St. Patty's Day
3.22.10 | I discover the true meaning of this holiday.
Sex, Self-flagellation & Videotape
2.7.10 | John Edwards gets caught on tape with his knickers down.
Fake Plastic Face
1.22.10 | Heidi Montag gets unreal.
A Few Words About Haiti
1.20.10 | Please help with Haiti earthquake relief.
Farewell, 2009
12.31.09 | And good riddance!
Going Rogue: The Life of Caribou Barbie
11.29.09 | Sarah Palin tells all and says nothing.
The ABM's Hospital Adventure
11.15.09 | The joys of surgery.
Captain Many Pieces Ship
11.15.09 | Windows Vista voice recognition doesn't recognize much.
Fame
10.25.09 | Wouldn't you like to fly in my beautiful balloon?
A Conspiracy of Dunces
9.12.09 | Shut your pie hole, Charlie Sheen.
Obama to Indoctrinate Our Children
9.4.09 | The president seeks to turn our kids into... something.
Cat People vs. Dog People
8.24.09 | Can't we all just get along?
I Am Now a Twit
8.22.09 | Look, ma! I can tweet!
One Baptist Wedding and an Atheist
8.15.09 | Where's the booze??
My Web of Addiction
7.31.09 | My name is Roger and I'm addicted to the Net.
The Miracle in the Bird Poop
7.19.09 | Religious icons appear in strange places.
An Open Letter to Sarah Palin
7.5.09 | Palin resigns as governor... to do what?
Pornography: An Unscientific Study
6.28.09 | The results of several years of careful study.
Sanford and Slut
6.26.09 | Why do Republicans get more action than I do?
In Your Facebook!
6.18.09 | Please don't bore me.
Hideous Kinky
6.13.09 | David Carradine's strange and embarrassing death.
On Turning 50
6.03.09 | On being well over the hill.
The Second Embarrassment From Texas
4.19.09 | Gov. Perry opens his mouth, and the world cringes.
License To Breed
3.27.09 | Take my test to see if you should breed...
Enjoy Sexwuh, Everybody!
3.20.09 | SXSW invades Austin again.
Valentine's Day Redux
2.14.09 | Valentine's Day... again.
Missing Out on Miss America
1.26.09 | I try unsuccessfully to become the first male Miss America.
One Fine Day
1.20.09 | The ABM gets a little Obamania.
A Farewell to Bush
1.19.09 | Finally!!
Adios, 2008
1.01.09 | The year in review, and few predictions.
The 20th Annual ABM Christmas Letter
12.20.08 | My exciting year. Jealous much?
Apparently, God Preferred Obama
11.05.08 | From the mouth of a babe...
Take My Quiz...Please
10.30.08 | Please DON'T vote if you don't know what you're doing
All Things Must Pass
10.26.08 | With deep regret, I withdraw from the presidential race
Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue
10.13.08 | Sarah Palin as president. Scary!
The Conventions
9.05.08 | The Democrats and Republicans gratify themselves in public.
The Never-Ending Olympics
8.24.08 | The games go on... and on... and on....
Elvis and Me
8.6.08 | I announce my VP choice.
Retirement for Dummies
7.30.08 | "Dummies" as in "me."
Who is the Funniest Candidate?
7.25.08 | Please say me, me, me!
SUVs Must Die!
7.16.08 | Kiss your gas guzzler goodbye.
The Perils of Polls
6.26.08 | Polls don't count, unless they count me.
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Geezer
6.15.08 | The ABM turns 49.
Back In the Saddle
6.10.08 | Someone's in rehab with Lindsay...
Assuming the Positions
5.11.08 | My policy positions explained... sort of..
How To Become an Elitist
5.8.08 | Contribute to my campaign and be someone special!
188 Days To Go
5.5.08 | Countdown until I ascend to Emperordom. Bwa-ha-ha!, etc.
The Indignities of Campaigning
4.26.08 | Is there no dignity left in campaigning? Um, no.
Join My Cult... Please!
4.17.08 | Come where the Kool-Aid is always safe to drink.
The ABM vs. the Dog Lady
4.11.08 | The most annoying coworker on Earth.
The ABM vs. Tim Russert
3.23.08 | My interview with the late Tim Russert... before he died.
Call Me!
3.13.08 | Eliot Spitzer's girl gets my sympathy... and phone number.
Spitzer Swallowed by Scandal
3.3.08 | New York Gov. blows it... or gets blown.
Doing the Texas Two Step
3.5.08 | One man, two votes.
"Darth" Nader Returns
2.24.08 | Ralph Nader prepares to screw up another election.
Courting the Gay Vote
2.21.08 | Self-explanatory.
Yes, I Can!
2.15.08 | The many reasons I should be your president.
Be My Valentine
2.15.08 | An ode to unbought lingerie.
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