Dick Cheney Vaporized

January 21, 2009 (WASHINGTON) - Former Vice President Dick Cheney was apparently vaporized shortly after leaving President Obama’s inauguration today. Mr. Cheney, confined to a wheelchair because of a muscle strain in his back, was being driven home in a limousine when the incident occurred.

“One second he was sitting there, then he started cackling in this evil-like manner, then—poof!—there was a flash of fire and smoke, and he was gone,” said limo driver Christopher Smith.

“There was this smell, like fire and brimstone. Not that I know what brimstone actually smells like. But the stench was awful. Even worse than Cheney’s usual stink.”

Theories as to the cause of Mr. Cheney’s vaporization range from spontaneous human combustion to an extremely rare buildup of static electricity.

Asked for his opinion on the incident, former President Bush said, “Oh, that crazy Dick. I guess Satan called in his chips a little earlier than expected. Heh-heh.”

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