Clinton Meltdown

May 9, 2008 (Fayette, WV) - At a campaign stop in West Virginia, a near-hysterical Senator Hillary Clinton made some comments that shocked even her staunchest supporters.

“I’ve got the white vote,” Clinton told a small crowd of supporters, her voice rising in intensity with each sentence. “I’ve got the uneducated blue collar vote, the women’s vote, the senior vote, the Hispanic vote. In other words, I’ve got dumb people, old farts and Mexicans on my side. That is America, isn’t it? What more do you people want? Can’t you see that the Oval Office is mine? I had to put up with Slick Willie porking interns for eight years! I deserve to be president!”

Clinton was then shot with a tranquilizer dart by her husband, and whisked to an undisclosed location.

Asked for comment, Clinton spokesperson Howard Wolfson immediately resigned and went to work for the Obama campaign.

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