Clinton Challenges Obama to Duel

April 30, 2008 (Indianapolis, IN) - Today Democratic presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Clinton challenged opponent Barack Obama to a “Hamilton-Burr style duel” if next Tuesday’s primaries do not prove decisive for either candidate. 

“It’s time we decided once and for all who the toughest candidate is,” Senator Clinton said at a campaign stop at a neighborhood bar in Indianapolis. “If you can’t look down the barrel of a gun without wetting your pants, I’m not sure you have the cojones to be president.” The New York senator then knocked back several shots of Crown Royal and wiped her mouth on her pantsuit sleeve.

“What I’m proposing is a duel at 25 paces,” the senator continued, donning an Indy 500 baseball cap. “I’ll even let Obama take the first shot. And by the way, I’ll be using a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum revolver, which is made right here in America.”

“I’m not sure Senator Obama even knows how to handle a loaded piece.” The senator laughed. “What am I saying? Since he’s black, he probably has a TEC-9 stuffed down his pants.”

With that, her Secret Service security detail whisked her out of the bar and into a waiting SUV.

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