News Flash!
Garrido Attorneys Speak Out
Sept. 4, 2009 (Antioch, CA) – The attorney assigned to defend 58-year-old convicted sex offender Phillip Garrido against kidnapping and sex charges relating to the disappearance of Jaycee Lee Dugard took questions from reporters outside the Antioch courthouse today.
Public defender Henry Weiss was asked about Garrido’s state of mind. Weiss took out a handkerchief and wiped sweat from his brow before replying. “Um, Phillip is doing well, I think, for someone who believes that he can control sound with his mind. He spoke in tongues, which I told him not to do in the courtroom. Boy, is it hot out here.”
Asked what his defense strategy would be against such overwhelming evidence, Weiss laughed nervously and replied, “Look, this was just a harmless slumber party that went on for 18 years. Phillip loves kids, just like Michael Jackson did. You didn’t see Michael Jackson on trial for that.”
When a CNN reporter reminded the young attorney that Jackson indeed stood trial on child molestation charges, Weiss threw his handkerchief at the reporter, grabbed his head with both hands, emitted a high-pitched scream and ran away.
In related news, the attorney representing Phillip Garrido’s wife Nancy appeared on NBC’s Today Show and reported that Mrs. Garrido misses her “family.”
Attorney Wilford Banes said, “Nancy misses Jaycee and the two kids, whom she regards as her… daughters or granddaughters or sisters or something like that. What can I say? These people are bat-shit crazy.”
Home
