Kennedy Runs On Merits

December 31, 2008 (New York) – Caroline Kennedy held a press conference today to deny that she is seeking to fill the soon-to-be-vacant New York senate seat held by Hillary Clinton solely to continue her famous family dynasty.

“I know that some people are questioning my qualifications to be senator, since I have no previous political experience,” Ms. Kennedy said. “Some people think that I’m running only on my family’s name—Kennedy. After all, I am Caroline Kennedy, daughter of John F. Kennedy, one of our greatest presidents. But let me assure you I am not exploiting my family’s name, even though my uncle, Ted Kennedy, has been the lion of the senate for decades now.

“I promise you that I, Caroline Kennedy, am well-qualified for this office on my own merits. I’ve fought for civil rights in the private sector, and have lots of experience raising gobs of money for causes that I don’t even remember. I am a lawyer just like my cousin, Bobby Kennedy, Jr., who is the son of Robert Kennedy, who might have been president had that guy with the same first and last name not shot him in the head.

“Rest assured that I will represent the people of New York to the best of my ability—as a New Yorker. But please, just think of me as plain old Caroline… Kennedy.” 

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