News Flash!

Kim Jong Il on MySpace

July 31, 2009 (WASHINGTON) - North Korean President Kim Jong Il now has a MySpace page. The secretive leader joined the social networking site earlier today in what many U.S. analysts believe is a ploy to dispel the rumors of failing health that have dogged him for some time. Kim is believed to have suffered a stroke months ago.

Kim’s MySpace profile lists his occupation as “Dear Leader of the REAL Korea,” his height as “6’ 4” (including hair)” and his mood as “wacky.” Kim describes himself as a “fun-loving regular guy who happens to control the lives of 23 million people.” His listed hobbies include “developing nuclear weapons in defense of the beloved motherland, giving the West the finger, and ballroom dancing.”

White House spokesman Robert Gibb acknowledged that Mr. Kim attempted to “friend” President Obama on MySpace, and that Mr. Obama is weighing how to respond, and debating whether to invite the unpredictable Mr. Kim to the White House for beer and the CIA’s “special pretzels.”

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