Letterman/Palin Feud Escalates

June 13, 2009 (New York) - The dispute between Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and “Late Show” TV host David Letterman escalated beyond mere words today when Letterman called police to his Connecticut home and reported that Gov. Palin was buzzing his house in a helicopter, armed with a high-powered hunting rifle. When police arrived, no helicopter was seen in the area.

Gov. Palin later called a press conference to deny Letterman’s allegations. Wearing hunting camouflage and designer shooting glasses, she said that while she had indeed been aloft in a helicopter and armed with a rifle, she was merely looking for Alaskan wolves.

“You can see my house from Connecticut,” Palin said. “Mr. Pathetic Letterman is confused. Even though he’s a naughty old pervert who makes sex jokes about my 14-year-old daughter, I would never do him harm. Unless of course, he actually tried to have sex with my daughter—which he also too would like to do—then I would do the honorable American thing and shoot and skin him.”

“If she wants my wrinkly old pelt that bad, she can have it,” Letterman quipped at a press conference of his own. “But she doesn’t have to shoot me to get it. She can just wait a few more years until I die naturally.”

“She can just wait until you die naturally,” echoed Letterman’s sidekick and bandleader, Paul Shafer.

“Shut up, Paul. And stop following me around,” said Letterman. 

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