Limbaugh Comprised Mainly of Gas

March 27 (Baltimore, MD) - Scientists revealed today that conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is comprised mostly of gases.

“Most adult male human bodies are composed roughly of 60 percent water,” said Dr. Blaine Spiegelman of Johns Hopkins University.  “But Mr. Limbaugh’s body composition is 60 percent gases—mostly methane and hydrogen. The other 40 percent of Mr. Limbaugh is pure fat.”

Dr. Spiegelman warned the public to resist the temptation to stick Mr. Limbaugh with pins, needles or ice picks for fear of releasing his highly flammable internal gases, and to avoid using open flames in close proximity to him.

Minnesota senatorial candidate and former liberal political commentator Al Franken expressed surprise at the findings. “Wow,” he said. “Rush is mostly gas? I always thought he was just full of shit.”