Fellow Monsters Rally Behind Clinton

March 8, 2008 (Transylvania, PA) - After Senator Barack Obama’s now-former senior foreign policy adviser Samantha Power called Senator Hillary Clinton a “monster” in a supposedly off-the-record comment during an interview with The Scotsman newspaper, she was forced to resign from the Obama campaign. In a surprising development, many famous monsters have rallied to Senator Clinton’s side. The Frankenstein monster, the Mummy, the Wolfman, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon have respectively grunted, growled, howled and screeched their support for Clinton.

At a rally in Pennsylvania, Clinton said, “I think this proves that I am the best candidate for everyone, including bloodthirsty ghouls and flesh-eating werewolves. Senator Obama has received no monster’s support that I know of… unless you count Louis Farrakhan.”

Count Dracula rebuffed Clinton’s overtures for an endorsement, saying, “There’s only room for one supreme bloodsucking bitch on this planet, and that’s me. Bleahh!”

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