Chuck Norris Hospitalized

February 29, 2008 (Little Rock, AR) - Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee’s campaign suffered a severe blow when former movie and TV star and key Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris was hospitalized in serious condition this morning.

Norris, Governor Huckabee’s only celebrity endorser, was found unconscious in his hotel room by a maid. Norris was rushed by ambulance to an undisclosed hospital.

Norris’s publicist had no comment, but an anonymous source reported that Norris apparently overdose on “Just For Men” beard and hair dye.

“Chuck was found with several bottles of ‘Just For Men’ on the floor nearby,” said the unidentified friend “I believe that after 20 years of constant use, he absorbed way too much of that crap through his skin. I always tell him, ‘Chuck, there’s no shame in aging,’ and ‘You’re starting to look like Luciano Pavarotti,’ but he always scowls and kicks me in the groin. I hate to say I told him so, but I told him so.”

Huckabee is reportedly sending out feelers for other washed-up B-list celebrity endorsements.

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