News Flash!

Obama Switches Parties

Aug. 18, 2009 (WASHINGTON) - President Obama announced today that he’s switching from the Democratic to the Republican Party.

In a White House news conference this evening, the president said, “I have tried to reach across the aisle to Republicans in the spirit of compromise, but that strategy has failed. Now I’m going to reach out to Democrats from the other side of the aisle, in hope of creating the illusion of bipartisanship.”

Many believe the move is a desperate attempt by Mr. Obama to salvage his crumbling bid to overhaul the health care system. Republicans and conservative Democrats continue to narrow down proposed health care legislation, which now consists solely of offering every American a free package of Band-Aids.

Mr. Obama’s announcement brought mixed reactions.

Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) said, “I wish he’d make up his mind. I can’t keep following him back and forth between political parties just to save my own ass.”

Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) was unimpressed. “Mr. Obama is not a Republican. He wants Band-Aids for everybody. What’s next on his socialist agenda? Food and shelter for all Americans? What is this, Russia? On the other hand, the Republican Party could use a cool black guy. Michael Steele just isn’t cutting it.”

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