Palin to Receive "Augmentation"

October 26, 2008 (WASHINGTON) - The Associated Press revealed that Sarah Palin will take Monday off from the campaign trail to receive breast implants, enlarging her current “C” cup sized breasts to a size “DD.” The Republican National Committee, which will pay for the surgery, described it as an “image augmentation.”

“I’m doing this for America,” Palin said. “I’m doing this for every Joe the Plumber and Joe Six-Pack and—even though I don’t approve of their lifestyle—every Jane Rugmuncher out there. Everybody knows that all real American guys and lesbians—be they Republican or Democrat—like big boobs.”

In other news, ABC’s “The View” co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck made a campaign appearance with Palin in Tampa, Florida in what some are calling the “Dingbat-Bimbo Tour.” It is unclear which term refers to which woman.

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