Palin Denies Abusing Power

October 13, 2008 (WASHINGTON) - Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin continues to deny that she had abused her power as Alaska's governor, a conclusion reached by a state investigator in a report released Friday.

"Gov. Palin knowingly permitted a situation to continue where impermissible pressure was placed on several subordinates in order to advance a personal agenda," the report states.

"If you read the report, you will see that there was nothing unlawful or unethical about replacing a cabinet member," Palin said. "You got to read the report. I’ve been completely exonerated.”

“I’m a maverick,” Palin continued. “I cleaned up the good ol’ boy system of my hometown of Willasa, and then I cleaned up the corruption in the whole state of Alaska. And now fellow maverick John McCain and I will clean up the corrupt, terrorist-loving, baby-killing liberals out of Washington. Just because I tried to get my creepy good-for-nothing ex-brother-in-law fired doesn’t mean I abused my power. Anyone who says otherwise is cuckoo.”

Palin was then overheard whispering into her husband Todd’s ear to have the members of the investigative committee killed.

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