News Flash!

Donald Trump and Thing on Head to Run for President

April 17, 2011 (New York) - Donald Trump, billionaire real estate developer and star of NBC TV’s Celebrity Apprentice, announced today that he will run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012.

In an uncharacteristic display of humor, Mr. Trump said, “Yes, me and this thing on my head are throwing our hat into the presidential ring.

"I want to do for the country as a whole what I’ve done for American business. I want to take this great ship that is America on a new economic and social voyage," added Mr. Trump, who filed for corporate bankruptcy in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009.

“I also want everyone to know that I am one-thousand percent American and I have the birth certificate to prove it.” Mr. Trump then pulled from his jacket pocket what turned out to a handwritten list of “The 50 Hottest Hookers in New York City."

Trump has in recent weeks given new life to the so-called “birthers” contention that President Obama has never produced the “original” birth certificate proving his citizenship, despite the fact that a copy of Mr. Obama’s legal birth certificate has been available online for three years.

Upon hearing the news, President Obama said, “I want to know what that thing on his head is. Was it once a live animal? Is it of extraterrestrial origin? Is it controlling his thoughts? Will it be his running mate? Until we have answers, I would ask Mr. Trump: You think we’re stupid?”

Home