News Flash!

Woman Who Looks Like Man Sings Like Angel

April 19, 2009 (London) – Earlier this week, 47-year-old unemployed Scottish virgin Susan Boyle wowed judges and audience alike when she performed on the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent.”

Her soaring rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" from the musical "Les Miserables" astonished the show's notoriously harsh judges, despite her unconventional appearance.

“I admit, at first I thought it was some wanker dressed up like a dowdy old dame,” said judge Simon Cowell. “Even after she sang I wasn’t totally convinced. Since then, I caught a glimpse up her skirt,” he continued, wincing at the memory. “She’s for real.”

Boyle’s celebrity quickly went global, with a YouTube posting of her appearance receiving millions of hits within hours of its posting, and fan Web sites springing up almost immediately.

Cowell vowed to help Boyle get a record deal. Asked if Boyle’s first CD release might include a bonus DVD of her performing, Cowell said, “Um, n-o-o-o-o-o.”

Ms. Boyle’s stardom is expected to endure among non-shallow people who don’t judge others by their appearance, those who get off on watching women who look like men, and those who miss the old “Benny Hill” TV show.

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