News Flash!

O'Donnell Pleads for Funds

October 21, 2010 (Dover, DE) - With the Republican establishment diverting its financial support away from Delaware Republican senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell, O’Donnell is depending on individual donors to keep her faltering campaign alive. Polls show O’Donnell trailing Democratic opponent Chris Coons by 10 to 15 points.

Today O’Donnell unveiled a campaign TV ad even more controversial than her first. As in the first ad, O’Donnell looks and speaks directly into the camera.

“I dabbled in witchcraft in my youth, but I was not a witch. I also dabbled in drug dealing and prostitution to make ends meet. So yes, I was a drug-dealing lady of the evening, but only out of necessity. Now, I once again find myself desperate for money. My campaign to take America back from liberal tax-and-spend gay masturbators urgently needs your help.”

O’Donnell then steps closer to the camera, her voice rising.

“Please contribute to my campaign today! Don’t make me return to those old ways, Delaware! Don’t turn me back into a crack-dealing whore! Don’t do it!”

O’Donnell steps back from the camera and regains her composure.

“Remember, I am you and you are me. Goo goo g’joob,” she concludes.

The ad immediately drew fire from professional drug dealers and prostitutes, who were outraged that O’Donnell was, in their words, “tarnishing our image.”

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