News Flash!

Gadhafi Claims Victory

August 28, 2011 (TRIPOLI) - Embattled Libyan strongman Col. Moammar Gadhafi claimed to be turning the tide of war against the six-month-old rebel uprising, even after being fatally shot in the head.

On Tuesday, Libyan rebels stormed Gadhifi’s compound in Tripoli, breaking through the gate and looting the compound of weapons and supplies. Saturday morning the rebels returned to find Gadhafi, who has remained defiant during the six-month-old rebellion against his regime, hiding in a closet in the compound.

“Ha! You have fallen into my trap!” Gadhafi reportedly said upon his discovery. “I’ve got you right where I want you!”

After rebels offered him a choice to surrender or face summary execution, Gadhafi reportedly waved a coathanger and cried, “It is I who will execute you! I will fight till the last drop of blood is spilled!”

A rebel gunman then fired two bullets into Gadhafi’s head, after which Gadhafi said, “Ha! That didn’t even hurt. See? I win!”

At last report, Gadhafi’s corpse could still be heard claiming victory through its body bag.

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